There is no such thing as a bad feeling. All feelings are normal. When we reject/push away/avoid the difficult feelings we are rejecting part of ourselves. What we want to encourage in ourselves and in our children is flow - the understanding that there are things you can influence and things you can't. It is not a battle, it is a push-pull phenomenon of finding balance and harmony. Think of it as an expressive musical idea - tension and release. Think of it as a dance.

One strategy that I have used for years now is a moment chair. When the big feelings come and feel overwhelming, I ask my son if he wants to join me in the chair where we cuddle and let the feelings happen, like a wave.

He now turns to me and says, "Mommy, I need a moment in our chair." We sit. We cuddle. We breathe. He cries for as long as he needs and once the big (not bad) feeling softens, we talk. We process together. My goal is to teach him that pain happens. Fear happens. Anger happens. There are healthy ways to manage this dance of emotion. When emotional intelligence is exercised life becomes abundant, succulent and healthier. You need to give grief, pain, frustration and anger the space in order to have the joy and happiness.